Poop-free Guide to My Favorite Ladies' Rooms

1. Tower Bar “The best place in town to meet some cool ass bitches”

Size: Insanely small, but comfy. I’ve seen probably 5 girls waiting in the outer-room to get into the stall which is even smaller.

Look: beautiful, or at least the pin-ups are. There has been many a Lady Dottie night where I would try to imitate the ladies’ poses in the mirror, but only until someone comes in to embarrass me.

Smell: The outer room just smells like girls. The stall smells like cat litter, but it ALWAYS smells the same. Even when you go #2, still cat liter. Cat dirt, on the other hand—what does that smell like?

Issues: the toilet wobbles back and forth when you sit down so don’t leave your wounded soldier on the seat or it will just be added to the various liquids always present on the floor.

Other tidbits: Careful when you walk in, because creepsters at the bar usually try to take a peek, and can, because the door stays opens for so long. Cassandra once peed in the sink, but that bitch just does whatever she wants. If it’s too full, just go into the men’s room. Mick and Danielle have never minded.

Overall: Absolutely the best females are in this bathroom. I’ve met friends, dance partners and, like I said, cool ass bitches in this bathroom. And in the bar as well 




2. Casbah “3 stalls, space-a place to check ya face”

Size: One of the biggest. I’ve never had to wait in line for more than a minute or so, even on sold out nights. 3 big stalls to do ya business in. Great place to adjust your clothing/wipe that much-deserved sweat off your face

Look: red, cool-just like the rest of the bar. There’s not much to look at other than you- in the very large wall-covering mirror.

Smell: Not too noticeably different than the rest of the joint. You can smell poop in this one cause it’s all one big room. Don’t poop at rock show, wait till the morning after.

Issues: The door furthest from the entrance is too low to be able to lock. Just kick it up a bit with your foot and simultaneously thrust the lock into place. You’ll feel like a big-bladdered ninja. There is some space between most of the doors which lets you see if there are any frenemies waiting to scoop your spot. It also lets people see your ‘gine.

Other tidbits: Bitches ain't that cool in here for some reason. Hard to strike up a convo. I think it’s because there is no waiting room and you can just hear everyone peeing and (hopefully not) pooping. Bitches tend to get all uncomfy when this happens.

Overall: Big, not smelly. Lotsa mirror space as to not have to fight for it. Usually TP and PTs.




TO BE CONTINUED…I am Le Tired